Monday, October 29, 2012

Faith and Hope

Faith and Hope
Why do we go hunting after a stretch of seeing no harvestable deer?


As I type we are awaiting the arrival of Frankenstorm: Hurricane Sandy. Work has been cancelled for two days, and as I look out the window I wonder why I am not up in a tree stand.

Obviously a tree stand is not the place to be during a hurricane, but right now this just looks breezy. I am sure it will get nasty as the next two days progress, and I don't truly desire to be in a tree right now, but I do crave the interior quiet and sense of peace being in a tree brings. My only real concern is losing power: I have a freezer full of venison that I do not want to go to waste.

Being in a tree has special meaning for me. When I was growing up my family went through an especially dark period. There was a tree in front of our house and I would go outside, and climb that tree, and be up there for hours avoiding reality. Whenever the dis-function and verbal abuse and passive aggressive behavior unsettled the quiet (which was happening more and more)  I was up in my tree and it just didn't matter for a little while.

The beginnings of my clinical anxiety were present then. How could they not be? But the tree helped. Being up in a tree is a great place to be. The tree gives us a place to be quiet enough to process fears and anxieties, and even be free of them for time, while at the same time giving us space to exercise the virtue of hope. The cross of anxiety is a real challenge to developing the virtue of hope. If you suffer from this particular cross, you know it is something to work on.

A blogger I really respect recently posted this (a prayer by Cardinal Newman): "I believe, O my Savior, that you know just what is best for me. I believe you love me better than I love myself. That you are all wise in your providence, and all powerful in your protection. I am as ignorant as Peter was as to what is to happen to me in time to come. But I resign myself entirely to my ignorance and thank you with all my heart that you have taken me out of my own keeping. And instead of putting such a serious charge upon me, you have asked me to put myself into your hands. I ask nothing better than this, to be in your care and not in my own."

But if I am to be honest I must admit this: I lack this level of faith and hope. All too often, I truly don't have faith that God will take care of us. I see tons of evidence He has taken care of me and my family, and I am grateful, but also guilty. What about so many others who are suffering so much? Cardinal Newman references Peter. What happened to him?



We can ask these questions another way I think: why do we go hunting the weekend after we see or harvest no deer?

Because of hope. Whenever we get up and go out and do something hard in the face of an uncertain outcome, we are engaging in an act of hope. Aquinas calls the object of hope a future good that is difficult, but not impossible, to attain. If we are truly seeking something that is possible, and we keep getting up to bat in an attempt to gain it, we are acting out of a place of hope. I know I have a tendency to despair. That is not a good thing because fortitude requires us to keep to our task even when there is no earthly hope. Just look to the example of the Spartan 300 (not the movie... the real ones) or St. Peter above. Caravaggio drives the reality home with beauty somehow.

The hopeless don't get up to bat. And that in turn helps to make them more hopeless. In terms of hunting, they stop going out, or (if they are reasonably well heeled) they go out once a year on a guided hunt on some fenced in ranch where success is guaranteed. That's not hunting in my book, because it lacks the virtue of hope. One doesn't have to exercise the virtue of hope to go to the grocery store. To truly go hunting, one does.

That is why some hunters get annoyed about baiting (although I have no problem with it) and that is why some hunters only use traditional archery methods. These rare and brave souls are hooked, not just on the hunt, but on the exercise of the virtue of hope. If that transfers to other parts of their lives, they will be considerably richer (I am not talking about money here) for the experience.

Which is why I worry about my lack of hope. If hope is a virtue that needs to be cultivated then I definitely need to get to work cultivating.

What should we do when we, upon honest self-assessment, recognize that we come up short?  If I had all the answers, I would be much better off! But these steps have worked for me in the past, and I am recommitting to them here publicly when it comes to hope.

Step one: Pray. Ask God to help. "Dear Lord, I lack hope. Please help me develop this important virtue so that I can follow you more completely."

Step two: Exercise. Find someplace, anyplace, to exercise the virtue of hope. Pick something difficult, but not impossible, to do, and do it. (I hope you succeed the first time out). If not, immediately try again. Don't give up until you do get a success. I don't care how small the goal is. Hope for it, work for it, achieve it, and then pick something else).

Step three: Bring someone with you. People today think of everything in terms of the individual. But we are not isolated individuals. The hunters that keep hunting have hunting buddies. The hunting network over on twitter is huge. We do nothing in isolation. If you have hope, pass it on. If you don't, start at step one and make it your goal not just to develop hope for yourself, but pass it on to others.

Step four: Start over again at step one. Keep working.

Do not be too hard on yourself by the way. When I sought to get into shape, and have a healthy body, it was hope that made that attainable, so I am not truly without the virtue entirely, and neither are you. God made you and he does not make garbage. In terms of raw materials, everything you need you possess. If we are not where we want to be just now, and that I am sure is the case for most of us when it comes to the virtues, then follow the steps, but don't be too hard on yourself. You can kill the virtue of hope if you are.



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